Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So vagazzling was a success
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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