just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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