Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
