I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
