I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
