Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize