Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
