No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
