I'm going to jail i love you
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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