need another drink. this is the easiest way
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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