i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
