is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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