Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
40s are totally the cure
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
