on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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