who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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