Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
