there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So vagazzling was a success
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
