Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
