I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize