So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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