Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
