it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
