with your own penis?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
