taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
