you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
