totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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