The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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