Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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