In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
