I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
