I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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