home. puking in laundry basket.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
