im six kinds of drunk right now
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
