Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
