Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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