Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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