And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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