I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
