i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
