someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
