remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
