So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Randomize
