We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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