Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
