we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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