Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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