I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
