i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
