Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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