I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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