It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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