What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
