She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We are all done wearing pants today
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
