oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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