i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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