he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She's the barista slut.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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