low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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