Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
