Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
