Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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