So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
