remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
