It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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