I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
