the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
